


Let Angus Be a Kid

by I_Otaku



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm almost done and the boys still don't love angus as much as they should, Potty Mouths, Tagged the peeps that do the most stuff. There's some others but eh, also, h/c, i forgot to tag, let me give angus love !!!!, like two weeks after this was written, sorry if I wrote innacurately, until now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-01-20 13:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12433812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Otaku/pseuds/I_Otaku
Summary: Upon further use of his deductive reasoning, Angus could pinpoint with almost exact precision when he had begun this descent into sickness.(Angus catches ill and things happen. Post Eleventh Hour, pre-Suffering Game. Angus is under a lot of responsibility and I would die for him.)





	1. Chapter 1

It was a few days after the Reclaimers had returned from Refuge. They were all distant; Taako had cancelled magic lessons and starting being seen as some kind of spectral ghost just outside anyone’s view, and Magnus spent almost a week locked in their shared suite. Angus could see Merle handling it by far the best, grumpily hoarding some of the cafeteria’s honey rolls (which were Magnus’ favorite), although the dwarf would never admit it.

They were distant from just about every Bureau member, and Angus was doing his best sleuthing as he spent the evening the reclaimers returned nestled into his usual nook in the bases library. The Reclaimers didn’t want to talk, and Angus the moon’s best detective took the case of what exactly had gone down. He learned from Madame Director that the Chalice could rewrite time, and leafing through what little chronicles remained of the lives of Magnus, Merle, and Taako, he struggled to find something groundbreaking.

He was so involved in his work in fact, Angus missed dinner. He kept his nose deep in records and newspapers, trying to find what hurt his friends this bad. He wanted to find a way to save the day, and his family.

It was around midnight he found recordings of what happened in Ravensroost. Two thirty when he stumbled upon a long forgotten newsclipping talking of what happened in Glamour Springs. He gave up searching for Merle’s past when the clock hung across the way chimed a low and somber four. It was… unsettling to say the least. Traumatic and heartbreaking to be more specific, both for Magnus and Taako, but both were in different situations. Angus adjusted his glasses for the umpteenth time that night, wiping away a few stray tears from when his thoughts strayed to the pain his friends his heroes had gone through. He could hazard a guess now at what the chalice had shown them, and scrambling a few loose clues into his satchel Angus returned his books before trudging down back to his room. His stomach growled angrily, but he just continued walking, deep in thought and worry.

He followed his normal night routine, changing rather scruffily into his pajamas before worming into bed. He was worried about them, no other way to say it. Angus had to take care of his friends! That’s why he was here, on the amazing moonbase as a Seeker! He tossed and turned, unable to get rid of the fear and concern nestled deep within him.  Angus eventually just laid and stared at his ceiling. A few dim blobs let out a soft glow from the “sky,” little stickers Carey had given him when he admitted to having bad dreams.

 

* * *

 When he woke up, he wasn’t exactly sure when he had fallen asleep. His eyes hurt, his back ached, but eventually Angus threw back his sheets and sat up. The first thing to hit him was a debilitating wave of nausea, his head swimming and his stomach snarling. But after a few seconds it faded, and hurriedly Angus did his best to scurry to the cafeteria to make up for last night. His appetite wasn’t the best, but he tried, halfway through a bagel when he noticed team Sweet Flips enter. Noelle was leading the way, a comical series of beeps imitating some kind of bridal procession which had the two girls laugh and try to nudge her floating body.

Carey was the first one to notice Angus, smiling and giving the boy a wave. Killian and Noelle followed, and they met up at the boy’s spot.

“Heya Ango, what’s up?” Carey sat on his left, scruffing his hair. Angus realized then he forgot to grab his feathercap, but blinked the thought away. Something else was far more pressing.

“Have you heard from the Reclaimers yet?”

 “Wow, right to the point, huh kid?” Killian sat to his right, giving him a soft nudge.

 “I’m… worried about them.” Angus poked at the food on his plate, a honey roll completely untouched. “Do you think…”

“I like to believe I do sometimes.” Carey’s voice rang out as Angus paused, making the three around her giggle.

“Miss, I was going to say, do you think it was so bad because… I didn’t help them enough before? Before they left that is.” The light mood Carey had managed to whip up faded like dust in the wind. Noelle gave a faint tune that sounded like a sad whistle.

“Now Angus honey, it’s yer job to help them yeah, but what happened down there sure as heck ain’t your fault.” Her screen flickered just slightly, big metal body resting on the bench opposite the boy. “It ain’t nobody’s fault. It’s just the risk of these dang relics.”

Killian spoke next, “Noelle’s right buddy, it’s just the risk of the job,” she gave her girlfriend a small thumbs up. Carey played more with Angus’ hair before going to get breakfast. “They’re gonna be okay. They’re some big ol’ ruff boys.”

Angus nodded, still meandering his food around.

 “Would you like to train a little bit? Work on your stamina after breakfast?” Carey returned with her food, two plates in fact with one for each of the fighters. Angus turned to talk to his scaly friend before pursing his lips.

“Perhaps, I’m not too swell at the moment Miss.” Taking a swig of water, the boy detective cracked his knuckles. “But I think I’d like to go and check on them before I go rest.”

“Hold still for just a second darlin’,” Noelle said, a faint green light catching between her scanner and the boy for just a few seconds. “Hmm… You’re not showing any signs of serious bad news baby. Just go easy. Can’t have the world’s best detective catching the flu.”

 “Will do ma’am.” He gave a small nod, and cleared his plate.

 

Nobody answered the door to the private suite when Angus knocked.

 

And returning to his own suite, he was caught off guard by Johann who was knocking on _his_ door.

 “Oh, hello sir! What brings you here?”

 “Hey little man, I was wondering if you could uh…” He struggled a little for the words he was thinking of, and blinked a few times. “Oh yeah, help me watch over the voidfish for a bit. It keeps doing the little,” He took his hand and swept it up and back from the side of his head, imitating a kind of feather like in Angus’ cap. “The little that thing.”

 “I’d love to sir!” At least something good could happen today, a small glimmer of hope. “Shall we head down now then?”

“Yeah.”

They walked, taking the elevator in a nice somehow social silence. Neither had much to say, deep in their own thoughts, but it was comfortable. There was no need to force conversation. Entering into the voidfish’s chamber had Angus gasp as always, and Johann gave a small smile. “Have I mentioned I love it when you do that Angus?”

“I do believe so sir! But the fish, it’s just so incredible every time I see it!”

They scuttled into the large hall, the voidfish playing the happy tune of it’s song, Angus giving it a wave and smile in return. A long tendril waved back, and Johann unstrapped the lute from his back to play the tune in return. It was slightly different now, and the fish seemed to indeed do the motion Johann did earlier, before placing a tentacle on the glass in front of Angus.

Carefully, Angus approached and repeated the sentiment, making Johann smile. “Nice to see the voidfish can appreciate some real knowledge.”

As Johann went to clean and gather some of his manuscripts to feed the fish, Angus took his seat with his back against the tank, popping open his notebook and scribbling down notes as he pondered. The cold of the room seeped into Angus’ bones, legs crossed and just slightly bouncing as he tried to think of a solution to his friends problems.

 

Minutes passed by, and soon enough Angus had spent two hours sitting and writing, rewriting and charting. It was well past breaktime, and Angus rubbed his eyes. He set the book away from himself to walk through what he knew when liquid came spilling over the edge of the tank. The ichor was somehow thick, and absolutely freezing. It made him gasp, barely holding back a scream as Johann stuck his head out from the upper edge of the tank.

 “Oh shit little dude, I’m super sorry. Fish up here got a little too excited.”

With a nasty shiver Angus stood. “It’s… It’s alright sir! I’m be splendiferous in no time!” Shaking his hands and removing his glasses Angus felt the chill of the room bite into him. “I think I’ll be heading out now, best to change my clothes before I catch ill.”

“Hurry home little man.”

 Thankfully Angus’ book was spared, although his set of clothes was now soaked. He trundled back to his room, eventually carrying his shoes as the leather rubbed against his heel wrong and he started slipping.

 

He found a nice, decent pair of striped pajamas he had tucked away for travel, and shook what ichor he could out of his ears. His glasses were dried and set aside, clothes hung in the shower to dry, Angus was about to climb into bed for maybe a short rest as there was a knock on the door.

Trundling over, the door slid open to reveal Madame Director herself, which racked Angus with anxiety.

“Angus, are you… are you feeling well?” Her first question seemed to vanish as she looked over the boy, dressed in pajamas, shivering, and without his glasses.

 He stood up a little straighter, squinting to try and find the details of the Directors face before smiling. “I’m fine ma’am, what seems to be the situation?” He had to be serious, he had to do everything he could to help the Bureau, he had to pull his weight, and that’s just what he did.

The two walked to her office (which was thankfully very close and warmer than Angus’ dorm) and the Director explained a situation that had gone awry with a group of seekers planetside. As they talked, Angus offered possible leads just through his deduction, following his hunches and the clues he noticed in the detailed logbook the Director had handed him. The afternoon again seemed to bleed together, Angus fighting his curly hair and tired eyes to focus after a while. When his stomach rumbled and the Director looked up quizzically, pink trailed across Angus’ freckled cheeks. Her eyes scanned over him, her gaze shrouded in the neutrality it normally held but with a little bit of something else hidden too.

 “I’m very sorry ma’am.”

“It’s dinner time, go and eat. I appreciate your help, you’ve been invaluable despite your age.” She said nonchalantly, gathering piles of information and grouping them, making work of her now rather messy desk. “Thank you Angus.”

 

Angus scrambled to his feet, bowing deeply and thanking her in return. His sock clad feet walked down the quad back again towards the cafeteria, Angus planning to just grab a container of soup and return quickly to his room for the night. He got as far as retrieving the soup (he was allowed to borrow a thermos courtesy of Avi) and taking a deep smell of the stew while walking back to his room. An invisible force ran smack dab into his front, knocking the soup out of his hands and down the front of his pajamas. Angus couldn’t help but let out a whine as he stumbled backwards. He’d hope that it wouldn’t do damage to himself, just his clothes.

“Oh no!”

 “Fuckin’-” Taako’s voice was unmistakable, and Angus practically ignored his lost meal.

“Mister Taako!”

“ _Fuck_ -”

Angus spoke quickly to the air in front of him. “Please mister Taako! I’ve missed you so much! How are you doing? I-I love you!” He stammered out the last part quick as he could in the direction he believed the elf to stand, and he heard Taako sigh.

“Taako’s… fine.” He said, still remaining invisible. The pause was thick and heavy in the late afternoon air, and Angus was almost sure Taako just left when a small rustling noise slinked out from the quad, followed by words that hurt Angus’ heart.

“Just forget about ol’ Taako for a little bit, kid. Nothing you can do.”

Angus got back to his room and changed clothes as quick as he could, before coming to the slow realization that tonight would definitely be a bad night too.

 

* * *

 The next morning, there was thankfully little nausea. Standing up however, there was a painful vertigo before the nausea really set in. He shook his head. Angus blinked, again and again before residing himself to sitting on his bedside for a few moments. It was hard to breathe and there was a brief heat flash but eventually it faded. He didn’t have time to skulk in bed all day.

 Instead the boy wonder set up shop in the voidfish’s chamber, thankfully opposite the tank so he could see it, and not be in dangerous splash range. He planned and planned, just barely remembering to welcome Johann when the bard made his way in for the morning work. 

The day was largely anticlimactic. Angus grabbed a ham and cheese sandwich, an apple and a honey roll before returning to his little aquarium around two. So consumed in his work, he barely finished his sandwich.

Magnus walked into the voidfish chamber close to seven. It seemed his perception was fried, because the fighter entered, eyes glued to the fishtank. He was mesmerized, entranced, a bunch of more synonyms Angus wished he could come up with as he watched his friend walk slowly towards the glowing galaxies of the voidfish.

“Mister Magnus-?” He whispered, pulling himself onto his feet slowly.

Magnus whipped around, face red and blotchy before he frantically rubbed his eyes. He smiled, but Angus could see the exhaustion behind it.

“What are you doing down here Ango?” 

“I’ve been thinking a-a lot. It helps- sitting near the voidfish I mean- it helps me think sir.”

“Yeah, I feel the same way.” Magnus turned back around, seeing the light shine from the tank, the atmospheric lighting beginning to dim for the evening.

“...Would you like to talk about it?” Angus asked quietly, stepping over his notes and running through plan after plan he had prepared.

“Not… not right now Angus.” Magnus’ voice was hoarse, and he rubbed his arms. He was in his pajamas, a scruffy old shirt with a silly slogan and some simple pants. “Johann’s keepin’ it cold down here, huh?”

"I’m afraid so, it is rather uncomfortable but I’ve begun to get used to it!”

“You should head home little buddy. You probably got something fun to do instead of hanging with ol’ debby downer here.”

“I’d like to stay with you sir, if that’s alright. You’ve been awful secluded as of late a-and I miss talking to you all. It makes me very happy to see you! I might be able to help get you out of this rut you’ve found yourselves in too boot!” Angus smiled wide, it felt fake to him but Magnus smiled softly.

“Angus, there are some things you just don’t understand yet.” He looked at the tank again.

“Sir, with all due respect, I’ve had my fair share of life already-"

“You’re just a kind Django, there’s so much you _just can’t_ understand yet.”

“But if I can just- if you let me help you-”

“Angus.”

 “That’s what I’m here for, I need to help you or else what kind of-”

 He was cut off by Magnus snapping, yelling his name before the room went quiet again.

“Please.” His voice was broken, and Angus rubbed his eyes hard before nodding. The boy left the honey roll tied in a small napkin in the well lit way to the elevator, and then got on and closed the doors.

His stomach rumbled and he willfully ignored it.

Sat at his desk mindlessly annotating one of his favorite research books, Angus let out a quiet sneeze. He rubbed his nose, focusing again on his work. Immersed in work, he could pretend everything was okay. Immersed in work he could pretend that he didn’t somehow let down the Reclaimers, that there wasn’t a chance they wouldn’t come back, that he didn’t eavesdrop on the director and Avi keeping track of all the times the reclaimers bracers showed absent vital signs.

He could convince himself he wasn’t crying angry, betrayed tears and beginning to hate himself.

Angus fell asleep on his desk, tiny tears barely smudging the fine print of his book.

 

* * *

 The next day he was awoken by loud pounding on his door, alarm clock reading very very late for how he normally got up.

The voice through the metal he vaguely recognized as Carey. Angus brushed off his clothes, unchanged from yesterday, and went to open the door when his body began to argue, instead leading him to the bathroom to dry heave into the sink. After a few dizzying rounds he leaned back against the wall, blinking away specks in his vision and adjusting his glasses.

Something was not right.

The thudding became louder, and making himself presentable, Angus found his way to the door. Carey quite nearly fell into the room, leaning on the door having not been her best choice. The boy tried to catch her, before she leaned back and jumped to her feet. “Sorry about that little buddy!”

“You’re-” Angus could feel his stomach twist into knots, “fine Miss Carey. What can I help you with?”

“Wanted to see if I could take you up on that training offer again. I think it’d be a nice way to relieve some of your stress.”

“No thank you ma’am, I’m good for right now. I have some reading I’d like to get done during this time.” Angus could barely focus his eyes, much less read, but he had to pull his weight. He just had to work through his sickness. He’d be fine eventually.

“Alright, you know where we’ll be if you change your mind.”

The dragonborn was starting to walk away when Angus spoke again.

“I-I’m not just a kid. I’m a Bureau member too. I can do stuff just like you grown ups.”

Carey scratched her head, looking over her shoulder for a second before looking back down at him. “Jeez Ango…”

“I’m not a baby.” He repeated, closing his door.

Why did everyone think he was just some kid!? Why couldn’t they just treat him like a real person! Everything was prefaced or added to with his age, things he couldn’t understand or just wouldn’t be able to because he was a kid. But… He’d almost lost the reclaimers twice now, what could happen next? What if one of them or all of them died because of him? What if he really was some stupid kid that didn’t belong?

What if he was really just some annoying underfoot human accessory there to make mistakes and laugh at?

His cheeks were burning warm now, eyes struggling to focus through the stress and now flowing tears. Everything was starting to spin, his thoughts and the room around him.

When he woke up he was on the floor and his glasses were bent, skin clammy and hot. Sweat soaked his shirt, his shorts, his eyes hurt, and he wanted to go home. He wished he had one to go to.

 

Angus struggled to his knees, and from his bedroom he could hear someone yelling through his stone of far speech. He couldn’t make out the words and as he walked inside slowly, all he could really do was pass out onto his bed. The stone was just outside his reach, and the voice was still loud as he faded out.

He woke up next, freezing cold, almost deliriously tunneling into his pristine sheets and burying himself, the chill of the voidfish chamber seemingly still within his bones now. The loud voice was gone now so he was lulled right back into unconsciousness. He couldn’t think or feel, the tired ache taking over his whole body deep into his heart and down to his toes. He believed nobody would care anyway.

As Taako would say, shit was not going his way.

 

* * *

 The next day hurt. He woke up from a disgustingly long sleep cycle, drenched in his own sweat and trying his best to throw back the fabric around him. Angus shakily changed clothes, walking uneasy as he kept one hand on a wall.

He was sick. He couldn’t be sick. If he was sick then he wouldn’t be useful anymore. He’d just be some kid and what if the Bureau wouldn’t want him anymore?

Angus ate breakfast quietly, and alone, pretending he wasn’t faintly crying. From the exhaustion or the emotions though, he couldn’t tell.

With the same careful steps returning to his room, Angus was thankfully and very dutifully ignored.

He didn’t think it was possible but he fell asleep again, this time just barely on his small bed, legs dangling off.

 

* * *

 In truth, Taako felt bad. Alright, he felt horrible. Being a little mean to the kid was alright, teasing and light bullying, but getting him to cry like that hurt. It hurt him to say the words that pushed his boy detective over the edge, and hurt even more to watch him start rubbing his eyes like he wasn’t even allowed to cry.

Angus was just a kid, a ten year old on the moon with no link back to his family if he even had any. And as much as he hated to think it, Taako saw himself in the small human. Angus was just so self sufficient, smart and strong in his own way, more of an adult than Taako was, and… Well okay, Taako just really fuckin’ badly wanted to let him be a kid. To let Angus smile and run around and do kid shit and not have to deal with all this emotional trash he had gotten stuck in.

 

When Taako was nicking breakfast invisibly and caught a glimpse of Angus’ shaking form, it took all his will not to run over and just pick him up.

Instead, he ran. Just like before and just like he probably always would.

The only difference was today, when he approached Angus’ room he held an intent to apolo- _check in._

“Agnes?” He asked quietly, fidgeting with his skirt. “Agnes buddy, you in there? You didn’t answer me a couple of days ago and that’s one big no-no in the book of Taako.”

Silence.

After a few more moments, knocks, and lip bites, Taako took off to find someone who knew what was going down in casa de Ango.

Team Sweet Flips was training, although it seemed that Magnus had been tagged in for Rogue training. Killian and Noelle stood in the center of the dimly lit room while Magnus and Carey slinked around them in the shadows.

“Hey you deep fried fucks!” Taako yelled, cupping his hands over his mouth.

Everyone turned, the sneaks sighing and Killian picking up her girlfriend with a smile.

“What’s up Taako?” Magnus asked, leaning on Noelle’s body.

“I think…” He cleared his throat. “I think something’s up with Ango.” He chose his words carefully, tapping his fingers to his elbows.

“What’d’ya mean?” Noelle suddenly took off, levitating over to the wizard and leaving Magnus to fall flat on his side with a swear.

“The Director needs Ango for something but I can’t get a hold of him. Anybody know what's gone down?”

“He said he wasn’t feeling well a few days ago…”

 

“I… I got upset with him in the voidfish’s chamber.” Magnus’ voice was uncharacteristically quiet, and Taako could practically hear his silent addition, ‘before I was ready to start moving on from Refuge.’

“Do you think he’s doing worse?” Carey leaned down from her position on Killian’s shoulder. “I tried to talk to him yesterday but he was real broken up about calling him kid.”

Putting the pieces together wasn’t exactly Taako’s strong suit, but even he could tell where this was going.

“Did anybody see him leave? Go to Neverwinter to visit family?”

“Did you check the library?”

“He’s not in his room?”

It was rapid fire questions, everyone turning worriedly to look at one another.

“He was crying at breakfast.” Taako practically whispered.

Magnus was the only one that noticed, and very quickly he rushed out of the room.

 

It was a manhunt, Magnus somehow getting Avi and the Director away from their usuals spots to help search, Johann sacrificing his break time to scour.

 

Angus was nowhere to be seen.

“He must be in his room! Just let me open the fucking thing!” Taako swung his arms wildly.

The Director, calm and composed as always, instead reached for the stone of far speech around her neck. “Angus McDonald. Hello? Angus? Angus are you there?”  

More fucking silence.

“I’m breaking the door down.” The two were returning to the boy’s room from investigating the library, meeting the hallway they needed. Taako stomped, crossing his arms and readying the umbra staff as they neared.

To Taako’s surprise, Magnus had already gone axe deep in the metal door as he arrived.

“Oh my god, Angus-” It was Magnus’ voice, hurried gasps from Killian and Carey following suit.

Taako was sprinting.

Angus, it seemed, was already being lifted out of bed, nestled closely in Magnus’ arms as Team Sweet Flips watched. Taako found it hard to breathe, their boy wonder’s body looking so small and frail. Angus was asleep, although not well based on his weak cries and heavy breathing. His dark skin was ashen, chest sputtering and struggling to fill completely.

Noelle began her work, floating in front of Magnus, and scanning down sign after sign of the boy running test after test.

“We need to get him to the infirmary. Now.” Noelle said, some kind of chart appearing on her screen.

 

Magnus was already gone.

 

* * *

 Angus was woken up just briefly, a sharp pain in his left elbow as Noelle played a small rendition of hush-a-bye baby. He could feel that this wasn’t his first shot, and based on the clinking in Noelle’s body it wouldn’t be the last. On the list of things Angus didn’t like, Needles were very high.

A few uncomfortable sounds escaped his lips, pleas and whimpers that he definitely wouldn’t call adult-like.

“Baby, you’re gonna be just fine, just hold on for me.”

“You’re doing great Angus, just a few more.” Magnus’ voice was next, making Angus blink his eyes open. The warm feeling around his hand was Magnus’ own, holding his tight.

“Sirs…? No,” he coughed hard and dry, “Sirs I’m- fine.”  His words wouldn’t come out and the bright lights of wherever he was were blinding. “Please I’m okay… I promise.”

“Angus, stop talking, calm down.”

The Director was here too? No! She’ll see him weak and useless and-!

His arms started to shake, and he could hear Noelle swear. His whole body was wracked with illness and now sadness.

“Magnus hold him down!”

“Please I promise! I’m okay! Please don’t send me back! Please let me go miss Noelle!” The voices he already heard were arguing, and when a cold hand met his forehead Angus stopped thrashing his neck.

“Angus.”

It was Taako. What was he going to do? Was he going to say he was disappointed? That he didn’t love him? There was some mumbling before Taako spoke again.

“Angus bubeleh, listen to me. Angus, _sleep_.”

He was down with the waves.

 

* * *

 When he woke up again, his whole body hurt. His throat was raw, head pounding, he couldn’t even sit up. Angus had messed up big time now. After a few deep breaths and fake swears he pulled himself upright. The infirmary bed sheets were surprisingly soft, and as Angus rubbed his eyes he learned he had been given some kind of IV.

He tried to stay calm, but his heart sped up and with a shaky hand he tried to rip it out. All kinds of medical machines began buzzing and shouting at him. The boy was just overwhelmed again, and started to have trouble breathing. And then he noticed the other presence in the room.

How long had Mister Taako been there? Taako was face down on the foot of his bed, throwing himself up when the machines started blaring.

“Angus!” He yelled, making the boy flinch. He rushed to the upper half of the bed, hands hovering and patting and holding. “Angus what happened, what’s wrong?”

Some blood started to seep from Angus’ elbow, making Taako yell into his stone of far speech.

“I’m sorry sir, I’m so sorry, please, I promise I’ll do better next time-“

“Angus, pumpkin take deeps breaths for me. One of you assholes! _Merle_ for fucks sake!

“Everything’s gonna be okay,”  Taako spoke as calm as he could. He bounced between consoling his protege and berating the idiots who couldn’t blink into the room as soon as they were needed.

It was Noelle who nearly blasted through the door, still attached to her large fighting and training body.

“Angus Taako’s right, everything’s gonna be fine.” She got quickly to work, removing the IV and wrapping his arm, doing more scans.

 

“Taako, keep him calm. Some of the tests should be finished by now.” Noelle ran a cold hand against Angus’ forearm, squeezing gently.

“Angus, how are you feeling now?” Taako spoke, clambering onto the much too large bed beside his boy. He sat close to Angus, one arm running behind him and squeezing him close. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent as Angus blinked slowly, throat burning up again from his fit.

“Talk to me genius, talk to Taako.”

“I hurt sir.” His heart and mind were at war, mind telling him to deny and be a real grown up, and heart screaming to lean into his teacher and just cry himself back to sleep. How much sleep could he even get? He’d been sleeping a lot.

“Noelle said you might’ve had pneumonia, that makes sense. We were afraid when you just shut down, you were touch and go for a bit.” Taako’s other hand moved to card in Angus’ curls, needing to either be touching him or just have something to do. Angus hoped it was both. “We as in everyone but me, Taako knew you’d come out on top.”

Angus nodded weakly. With a half grumble and half sigh, Taako moved in close and pulled his boy up onto his lap, two long slender arms wrapping around him. “I knew you’d be okay.”

Angus struggled to breathe just a little, his nose starting to run but still he tunneled into Taako’s chest. Everything was still blurry, but Taako was warm and safe. Taako’s heartbeat was constant and loud under Angus’ ear.

“I’m okay Angus. We’re all okay. Nothin’ was your fault bubbleh.” His voice quiet, reverberating in his chest as he just kept holding Angus.

Angus nodded sheepily, and closed his eyes.

 

* * *

He was in Magnus’ arms when he awoke next, wiry auburn sideburns tickling his cheeks. “Good morning fella!” Magnus beamed, “Glad to see the world’s greatest detective up again.” He was bubbly, warm and rugged just like the old Magnus, _before Refuge_ , and Angus pretended not to notice it was an act.

“G’morning sir…” His words melted together, Angus rubbing his eyes. He could breathe easier, even though his whole body felt like lead. 

“How are you doing?” 

“ ‘m tired.”

“Yeah, you hungry?” Mangus was sitting on the foot of the bed, Angus cross his lap, head tucked in his elbow. His big arms moved slowly to help the boy sit up. Angus nodding shallowly. “Glad to hear you’ve got your appetite. Can you walk?”

Angus shook his head. “I can barely see without my glasses sir.”

“Even better! Let’s play boypack.” Angus nodded, settling on the bed as Magnus stood, before kneeling down for Angus. The boy leaned forward, slowly getting onto Magnus’ back and looping his arms around the fighter’s neck.

“Boypack engaged!” Angus spoke, looking over Magnus’ right shoulder. He stood, Angus giving a smile as his own height practically doubled, which made Magnus chuckle.

“Now don’t tell Noelle, gods know she’ll tear into me for sneaking you out like this.” Magnus’ voice was almost daring, and Angus nodded.

 “Our secret is… safe with me!” Angus was interrupted by a brief cough, his friend holding firm to his legs as they ‘snuck’ out of the infirmary. The walk was slow, but a good kind of slow as Angus saw a few bureau members shuffling around, almost every one of them waving at him and smiling. It made him feel good.

“Hold still,” Magnus let go with one arm, just long enough to pull the cafeteria door open, before a tantalizing smell met the two of them.

 “It’s-”

“Fantasy stir fry! My favorite!” Angus gasped, hugging tighter to his friends neck.

 

“You know it boychik!” Taako yelled, stepping out from the backmost cafeteria cooking area, shimmering purple apron and ribbon tied around his waist. “Now sorry, Taako’s not cooking, but~” Magnus walked in, Angus finally being able to peek in and find Merle, the Director and Avi bumbling around the kitchen; Merle taking care of chopping and dicing, Avi on the grill and the Director taste testing with sauces and the actual pan. “Think we got some decent fantasy master chef juniors in here today.”

Angus laughed weakly, being sat down in his wrinkled clothes on an unused part of the counter. Magnus kept one hand on his back just because. Taako played with some of the boys rambunctious curls, conjuring a few barrettes to control them and having Angus giggle, color slowly starting to return to his face. His eyes were starting to brighten again, he even (albeit hoarsely) offered some advice here and there. Taako nodded with most of what he said, more interested in ‘overseeing’ by telling the three what they were doing wrong and examining his nails. 

“Ready for food?” Avi cheered, the Director smiling.

“I most certainly am.” She said, dropping the heat as Avi got the last of the chicken and beef into her pan. 

Merle grumbled something about having to do the real work, before giving Angus a worried glance he wasn’t supposed to see.

 He did. It was nice.

 The five adults set up shop around the counter, setting small bowls in front of themselves as Taako slid a heaping bowl over to Angus. His hands shook, but eating as much as he could Angus was both comforted and unsettled by his stomach’s reactions.

“I know I can’t eat all of this, is there any way I could have it wrapped up for later?” Angus murmured through his decidedly final forkful.

“We’ll take care of that.” Avi spoke, taking Merle by the bun and clearing the dishes of those who finished. (Magnus was working through his third bowl and tried to take a few of them from Merle.) 

“Are you still feeling coherent enough?” The Director spoke, hands folding gently on the countertop. Angus nodded.

“We’d like to talk to you about your position here at the Bureau.”

He visibly paled now, all sense of comfort dribbling out his ears. 

“Lucretia, it sound like you’re gonna fire the kid.” Magnus said around the fork in his mouth.

“No, that is most definitely not the case, don’t worry.” She extended a hand towards Angus’ knee, hesitant before retracting it. “I realized that we have placed a lot of responsibility on you as one of our top seekers, while still not giving you the proper respect for the position.”

Angus shrugged, rubbing his arms. “I’m alright ma’am, just-”

“Like hell you are!” Merle yelled, a loud pan dropping to the floor. Angus flinched, Avi whispering something to the dwarf.

“I’m sorry for making a scene and distracting everyone.” Angus’ voice was tiny, Taako’s hand moving from playing with his apron to holding Angus’.

 “You don’t have to apologize Angus. We should be the ones apologizing.” The Director replied, “We both need to realize that you are under a lot of responsibility and should be treated like it, as well as that you’re still young. Too much work will wear anyone down.”

“Please don’t drop me from the bureau!”

“Pumpkin we’d never, you’re smarter than probably all of the people on this whole planet.” Taako spoke, “We need to take care of you is all.”

He tried to deny it again when Taako shushed him, and again and again before pressing one of his fingers to Angus’ lips. “Nope. You’re our boy, and we’re going to take care of you.”

“We’re going to value our favorite seeker.” Magnus smiled, pushing aside his now empty plate.

“Favorite?” Angus’ voice was small, while everyone around him nodded with a smile. 

“I think it’s about time to get that favorite to get back to bed for now,” The Director spoke, standing and tapping her wristwatch. 

“Our growing boy needs his rest!” Magnus stood, scooping up Angus and the boy himself being eerily silent. His mind was churning hard and fast, weeks of worry melting from his shoulders. Minus the two on clean up, the four returned to the infirmary happily chatting, Angus half asleep in Magnus’ arms. A small smile had found its way to his lips.

 

* * *

When Angus woke up in the bed next, his chest ached but held a bleeding warmth that he enjoyed. There was a quilt strewn across his lower half, even from an upside down view he could recognize the symbol of Istus stitched carefully into it. Beside his hands were a few small wood carvings sat on the bed, two ducks and an owl. His original copy of the first Caleb Cleveland novel was sitting open too, and on top of the pages rested his glasses, new metal wiring sparkling. 

He cried for a completely different reason now, sinking down into the bed and pulling his new quilt up to his chin.

When Noelle entered with his antibiotics, he noticed her screen was a little bit lighter than before, and her voice was happier. He hoped he was glowing as bright as he felt too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys who finally got around to finishing this !!! Get your tissues ready. Trust me. 
> 
> This gets pretty emotionally heavy, Angus talks about some emotional abuse and there's some mild body horror, (IVs, needles, medical stuff like that)

When had cold become bad? When had Angus discovered cold to be empty and needing, where it had once been safe and harrowing? 

Cold used to be safety, hiding in prowling darkness, safe avoidance.

Now cold was empty, and it was silence. It was disappointing. No warmth of Magnus’ big scruffy hand wrapped around his own, no lukewarm Taako getting into his bed and subsequently in trouble with Noelle. No Killian hefting him over her shoulder, hands on his middle, or Avi giving him appraising headpats.

Cold meant alone, Angus realized. And Angus no longer wanted to be alone.

It was more than a few days after his little meltdown, his antibiotics were almost complete and Noelle told him he could return to his room soon.

Magnus visited the most often, the world’s greatest detective learned. He liked holding hands, he let Angus trace the creases and scars across his calloused palm and fingertips. And Magnus’ hands were big and hard from years of carpentry work and protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves, every inch of skin told a story, some he would talk about with incredible detail. A name came to mind each time Angus caught a glimpse of Magnus’ face going soft and warm as he traced the hand. It was Julia. Magnus’ hands were still soft and kind, warm with a sense of diligence and dedication. The hands of someone in love. His expression gave away more than just the fact Julia had done the same when Magnus had held her hand. They were something else entirely.

Taako visited once a day, maybe a little more or a little less depending what was going on in the base. His visits were exciting, and there was more sharing more than Angus was expecting. They locked arms as Taako read, shared the quilt the Director had made, Taako even went so far as to brush Angus’ hair and hum, quiet and low in his chest. Angus had fallen asleep back onto him not soon after.

Taako made a joke about them being more alike than he thought.

 But while he was recovering, he was still diligent. He worked hard on scribbling and notetaking, lists of ways he could help his heroes. He talked about it a few times to Merle, the grumpy dwarf had visited three times so far, all of them when Angus was supposed to be asleep. He was instead buried nose deep in his burgundy leatherback, brows furrowed and eyes tired. Merle had said something reprimanding, but in the voice Angus recognized as a worried parent and not a disappointed school teacher.

 He lost his book, too tired to play keep away as Merle tugged it from his grip.

 “Good Morning sir.” Angus said, eyes watering and a large yawn echoing from him.

 “Get to bed. You’re still recovering.”

 “Yes sir.” Angus leaned back, almost immediately melting down into his bed.

 

* * *

 

When he awoke, the room was cold. It didn’t feel right. There was a note from Noelle on the bed (the part of the bed Angus’ feet couldn’t reach no matter how much he wiggled) that he quickly snatched up.

_Angus,_

_The Director’s put the boys in overhaul for training mode. Our team don’t got as much pressure, but we’re still under scrutiny jus’ the same. You should be able ta’ walk a little bit, stay careful. Take your antibiotics._

_ <3, Noelle _

He blinked a few times, reading the note to commit it to memory. So the reclaimers were going to be going away again soon? No! That just wouldn’t do!

But he knew they were special, they were the only ones who could do it. And pushing up from his bed, Angus took a deep breath before pressing his sock clad feet to the floor. It was uneven, his legs wiggled a little bit, but after waving his arms Angus stood. He stood all on his own! Even though it was a little hard to breathe.

He grabbed his newly wired specs, and sliding them on Angus took off. If Magnus, Taako and Merle were going to head off, then he’d have to check in with them first. Expectedly, Taako was the easiest to find.

  
The male elf was laying across the fake grass of the quad, outfit surprisingly plain and worn,  staring up at the stars. When Angus noticed he hurried over, dropping somewhat clumsily to his knees and moreso falling the last bit onto Taako’s stomach. The elf laughed, briefly getting the wind knocked out of him before he looked down at Angus’ tired smile.

“Why hey there kemosabe, now you must be a fan.”

“I am!” Angus’ words struggled to come out a little bit, he was just excited to be out of bed for the first time in weeks.

“Hmm, interesting... usually I don’t let peeps touch the moneymaker but you seem different.” His voice was a little hoarse, like he had been casting spells and burning slots for hours.

“How… How are you doing sir?” Angus rolled over from looking at Taako’s face to looking at the stars. He could feel his head rise and sink with Taako’s breathing and laughter.

 “Bajeezuz kid, you’re still getting over almost pneumonia- just worry about yourself.” He deflected, Angus noticed, his hands were still under his head and elbows bent up. He was hiding something.

“Did you burn your hands?”

Taako’s tell was a small flinch, it happened in his left ear and eye. He glared down at Angus, shooting empty words.

“I’ll throw your Kasey Kevel books off this fuckin’ moon base little dude.”

“Sir you should seek medical treatment if you’ve undergone damage-“

Taako cut his boy off with a theatrical whine, rolling just slightly on the grass and making Angus giggle. “Like hell if I’ll trust that plantfucker to do anything regarding _my_ sublime anatomy. He can heal me when he’s dead, since somebody forgets they’re the cleric until it affects _them!”_ His voice raised to a bellow, projecting towards the training dome.

 “Sir!” Angus smiled, and started to laugh as Merle replied.

“Abraka-fuck you too!”

Taako cringed, extending a very large mage hand in a very colorful gesture that had Angus laugh even more. His tiny chest bounced, only for it to develop into a painful coughing fit. His makeshift pillow quickly sat up, Angus clutching to his mentor with one hand and covering his mouth with the other.

 It took longer than either would have liked to calm him down.

  


His head felt fuzzy (it still hurt to breathe) but Angus nestled against Taako, fake grass crunching just slightly under their changing position. “How did… you hurt your… h-hands?” Angus spoke quietly.

Taako was sitting upright with Angus on his lap, Angus’ head nestled squarely against the wizard’s chest. 

“Sleep Agnes, you need some real r-n-r.”

“I-I, well I worry about you, sir.”

The two waited in silence for a few moments, taking in the sky and quickly growing sunlight bleeding around the edges of their view. Taako’s voice was loud in the silence, surprising in its sudden appearance. “Was doing some wicked magic shit. I musta- I had to have gotten a li’l bit too extravagant. Scorching ray didn’t just come out the end like it usually did, I felt it like- like- a beam through the handle like it was coming from my chest… My heart.” Taako’s voice was quiet, one of his arms supporting his boy’s back and the other idly pulling the turf.

“Fucked me six ways to sunday little buddy.”

Angus wasn’t exactly sure how to respond, but the more they sat and just existed, the more he realized Taako may not even have wanted a reply. They both just sat, and breathed. Angus was glad the sun never rose on the moon base.

“Don’t tell anyone about this or-“

“Yes, I am aware sir.”

“Gotchu trained good.”

 

* * *

 

After Angus had wrapped Taako’s hands and said his goodbyes, he returned to the infirmary, ready for some time calming. He didn’t want to wallow in his sickness, he wanted to get better! He also had to take his antibiotics. Walking into the medbay though he was almost trampled under Magnus’ big boots.

 “Mister Magnus!” Angus gasped, covering his face and falling to his butt on the hallway floor.

Magnus blinked a few times, and his chest started to calm. “Angus, thank Istus.” The fighter dropped to his knees, extending a hand cautiously for Angus to take. “I got… worried… When you weren’t in your bed, I mean. H-How are you feeling?”

Angus cautiously took the fighter’s hand, adjusting his glasses quickly. “I’m doing okay, I walked and spent time with Mister Taako.”

“Are you tired? Have you taken your medicine? That’s important, especially now.”

“Yes, and I’m afraid not yet.” Angus stood, holding Magnus’ hand. In a blink (But somehow still holding an unspoken question of consent) Magnus hefted the boy wonder up, thick scarred arms holding him tight and safe.

“Nap time. Sound good Ango?” He was already walking as he spoke, Angus looking up at his pseudo-paternal figure. He was tired, worn down and clearly exhausted thanks to the bags under his eyes and slightest limp in his slower gait.

“Yes sir.” Angus spoke, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ neck. He needed it, maybe Magnus did too.

They curled up on the small bed, Angus tucked against Magnus and sapping body heat. Magnus was asleep first, rather unsurprisingly as he held one arm across Angus’ center. Angus spent his moments in serene silence observing the man, deep breathes and sleepy hands tracing his scars and sloppy hair. His bun was loose and strands of hair dangled down.

Angus was tired, but Magnus really was exhausted. He must have been working too hard, too long. The boy pulled off his own glasses, setting them down and returning to relaxing. Maybe they would be okay after a short rest. Maybe the reclaimers would be okay after all. Angus could hope.

He drifted, slow and painful into dreamland. It was empty and restless.

 

* * *

Angus was awoken by Magnus’ hands, big chunks of flesh that they were, swapping between pinning his shoulders to the bed and shaking him. He had lost so much weight, it must not have been difficult at all for Magnus to hold him. Magnus was speaking- he was saying something, something Angus couldn’t quite grasp. The words came and went in the same second, he just _couldn’t_ grab onto them. It was hard to stay awake, it was so hard to breathe. Was he awake or was he asleep? He couldn’t move, his body was numb and his mind fogged.

He thought he heard Noelle’s tones, and when a more stubby hand grabbed his cheeks it was fair to assume Merle’s presence next. Or at least he thought so. The sensory inputs faded into the blackness as soon as they were felt. It was so cold.

It was his name, Angus could eventually realize, voice after voice saying his name. Again and again, and it would have been comforting had it not been for his body just wouldn’t move. He hurt and there was an unnatural pressure in his nostrils. It eased as he stopped breathing for just a second. And then another.

He just wanted to sleep, in his dreams maybe his heroes were fine and safe, his body cooperative,

_“-‘ll crush his ribs Mag-!”_

Angus didn’t start breathing again.

_“-on’t have a choice!”_

He was getting better, why did he suddenly just plummet the day he was finally allowed his freedom again? What did he do wrong? Why couldn’t he just be happy?

_“MOVE!”_

It was a sharp and burning shock that brought Angus back to the surface, Noelle driving her electrified apparatus into Angus’ chest. And after a few seconds, Angus realized he was screaming. His heartbeat was deafening in his own ears, hands shaking and eyes as wide as saucers. Angus would later realize he had gone into cardiac arrest.

“Angus!” Three voices yelled, the boy heaving breaths and shaking on the bed as he stopped his yell. His eyes wouldn’t focus, everything was smears of color and light.

When did he get so sweaty? When did he fall asleep? What day was it?

“Angus honey, say something, I need you to say something, anythin’.”

It took a few breaths for him to speak. “‘ello ‘irs… anma’a.” He closed his eyes, before opening them slowly. 

“Why didn’t you say you were allergic to penicillin!?” Noelle yelled, the other two figures deathly silent.

“All...ergihto…?”

“Angus you went into severe anaphylactic shock.” A cold hand took his arm, pressing and injecting a needle into his arm again. “It’s no wonder you weren’t getting any better, we were kicking you while you were down-“

She continued talking, monitoring vitals and sending messages to the Director and Killian.

“-we’ll need to test you for for every allergy we can, this hypersensitivity is extremely rare.”

 

Madame Director threw open the door to the infirmary, white oak staff slamming into the ground as she rushed.

“Briefing. Now.”

Angus slumped down on the bed, and felt the crushing cold seep into his limbs. He was getting better! Well, key word being _was_ , he supposed.

His chest hurt, his eyes leaking tears, hair just in all the wrong places, skin itching. Noelle returned again to his bed and began forcing various mixtures and needles into the boy.

“Angus is allergic to penicillin.” Merle spoke, hands shaking. 

Taako blinked into the room, landing unceremoniously on the floor and scrambling to his feet. “What- what’s-” His hair whipped as he looked, voice broken when he saw Angus. 

He was so small on the bed, buried in the blinding white sheets and skin practically translucent. He was so broken, weak and worn down.

“... His heart stopped.” Magnus’ voice was barely audible in between his breaths. After a few seconds, a choked sob echoed from behind his hands.

 

Taako shut down, stepping on shaking feet to the bedside and sinking down to his knees. His hand found the smaller hand, the hand of one Angus McDonald. A small and terribly cold thing, equally small callouses from holding his magnifying glass, from writing quill first for hours and hours on end. A small burn scar from when he touched a too hot pan.

“We…” Lucretia choked on her words, going completely silent.

“I’m… sorry…” Angus’ voice was barely audible, but still somehow deafening in the silence.

“Don’t you dare apologize Angus.” Taako’s hand was warm as he clutched Angus’. “Just be quiet.”

It was quiet.

  
“I ain’t got a choice no more, I’m gonna have ta’ sedate him and wire him up.” Noelle was still zipping around, seemingly the only one still coherent and driven at the moment. “He’s having trouble breathing and if I can monitor his blood pressure and stimulate deeper breathing-“ 

She usually kept the science talk to a bare minimum, she wanted everyone to know basically what was going down. Now, she was spitting out terms left and right, half of them no one but her could understand.

Nobody argued as Noelle forced them out, Lucretia being the only bureau member spared. She watched the robot silently, hands gripping her white oak staff somehow loosely. She could hear Taako starting to yell outside, screams of blame and after a while Magnus’ voice alongside him.

Angus was quiet as Noelle worked, which to the Director was worse than if he had been whining or replying. He was just so limp and frail, pallid as the robot worked and began using tubes and pulling machines closer. Magic was freaking _magic_ , why couldn’t it do anything? Why did Angus’ problem have to be _his own body_? 

“We can treat it.” Noelle spoke quietly, retrofitting the assisted breathing apparatus. It didn’t look right, Angus was all big glasses and feather cap, dedication and adventuring battle wounds. Now he was silent and coated in a sheen of his own sweat. Angus was broken.

Noelle said something Lucretia accidentally let pass through her ears, hesitantly walking to take a seat on the foot of Angus’ bed the past few weeks. She watched Angus breathe; his eyes flicker, and heartbeat monitor beep. She cataloged, noticed, and observed. She just breathed him in. He was ten years old.

This time, when she reached out to put a hand on him, she flinched, but followed through. Her hand held the boy’s wobbly knee, giving a reassuring squeeze. She was never good with spoken words.

 

* * *

Carey was in the training room when she heard, taking a break from sparring as her girlfriend came rushing in with the bad news. She stayed in the dome, taking time to breathe and think things through before she just ran through and tore the medical bay to hell. Killian went to inform the others.

She was flinging throwing knives with shaky hands, mind blinking in and out of focus as she desperately tried to distract herself. There was just nothing she could do for Angus right now.

When the doors into the dome parted Carey assumed it was Killian, come with updates. It was instead Magnus, stomping through the doorway and advancing hurriedly on a collection of sparring mannequins.

“Mags! Hey meathead!” Her voice came out wrong and she pelted a knife with a little too much wobble. It bounced off the fabric dummy, and landed with a disappointing clang. Magnus kept stomping. “Magnus!”

The fighter kept on going, driving a mean hook down onto one of the figures, knocking it to the floor. He went after another next, tearing into the stuffed flesh with his hands, prying off limbs and joints, wood splintering beneath his fingers. And then he was yelling, slamming parts and pieces against other bits, splitting his knuckles and just _screaming_.

“ _Magnus_!” Carey took off, springing up to his back, wrapping an arm around her friend’s neck and yelling into his ear. “Magnus stop!” She wrestled with him just briefly, Magnus sending her flying off his shoulder and rolling across the floor.

“Magnus! Stop it!” She stood again, running and wrapping her arms around his waist, pulling back and shifting his weight. With no balance, Magnus went down hard. He landed flat on his back, a hiccuping cough worming from his lips as Carey placed a knee on his chest. “Hey there big fella.” Her voice was broken, just as Magnus’ was.

He looked up at her, eyes burning red and hands open fists. “Hey.”

Neither spoke for a long while, Magnus moving to rub his now bloodied knuckles against his face.

“He’s gonna be okay.” Carey was quiet, still not moving.

“How do we know?” Magnus rolled his head to the side, eyes blank. “I feel like we’ve let him down Carey. Like… Like we just can’t take care of him. He’s a fucking kid. A _kid_.”

“I know Mags. You bet your ass we’re gonna be better from here on out.” After a few more moments the dragonborn moved, dropping her knee to just lay across her friend's chest. It was quiet.

 

* * *

Taako dropped to his ass the second he was done arguing, he sat curled up tight right next to the door into the medbay. His arms were crossed, legs drawn up tight, and hat gone. Taako tried to make himself as small as possible.

He was fuming.

Why had Angus suddenly gotten so sick? Was it really just the kid’s shit luck? Angus talked about how he once fell from a building during a chase and dislocated his shoulder. Or the time he was locked out of his own house for coming back from a case too late. And- Taako’s hands had a white knuckle grip on his skirt, eyelids pressed together hard. Praying he could forget seeing Angus in pain. Whether Taako had actually seen it or imagined it.

When had he gotten so attached? The pet names, the unexpected kindness all that time ago on the Rockport Limited, when Angus had started crying at the end of Lucas’ lab it was easy to call it a goof and laugh it off. But now… he just wanted to Angus to have a childhood. To not have to worry about where his next meal or safe place would be. He really didn’t, not on the moon base, but Taako was still afraid.

Angus was afraid of being dropped from the bureau, of being abandoned. And Taako could relate.

 

When Noelle opened the door and the Director took her sharp left turn down the hallway, Taako leapt to his feet. Noelle peeked her body out, emoticon expression going soft as she saw Taako.

“Shoulda known you were out here.”

“Really should’ve robobabe.” He sauntered in best he could, umbrastaff getting hooked on the foot of the bed. He couldn’t really talk again after he saw Angus.

Small was an understatement, and articulate descriptors could go suck his displaced hat. Angus was pitiful. His hand was cold, Taako learned (almost Kravitz cold which he immediately added to his observation). And as he held the boy’s hand, his thumb tracing Angus’ knuckles, Taako sighed. With his free hand the elf rubbed his eyes.

Noelle disappeared to where her charging station was, and Taako took some time to think. Okay so, Angus was afraid of being taken away from the Bureau. Why? The logical part of Taako said he was running from something. Enemies? Maybe. Family? Much more likely. If he was afraid of being abandoned by his family then Taako walked through different reasons and ways he could combat Angus’ fears. He was deep in thought, heart going heavy as he thought about one of the few people he genuinely cared about being hurt. The umbrastaff clinked against the metal of the medbay bed and Taako shook his head to clear his fog of thoughts. 

When he looked over his boy again he was surprised to find Angus’ eyes open and looking at him. He smiled weakly around the tube in his mouth, freckled cheeks crinkling as best they could.

“G’morning pumpkin.” His voice was quiet in the silence of the room and Angus blinked sluggishly.

 His hand moved in Taako’s grasp, Angus’ fingers moving and tapping slowly Taako’s now outstretched palm.

“Okay, so you can hear me.”

Angus tapped twice.

 “But some of that medical shit makes it… hard to talk.” He smirked, Angus smiling again. He tapped twice, and then slowly made a hand movement for something Taako understood as _writing_.

Pursing his lips the wizard pulled off one of his bangles, spinning the metal circle in his fingers. After a few spins for the melodrama and theatrical expression of thought, Taako started changing it into a pen. The circle compressed, length shrinking and small golden leaflets blooming across the metal that now became a cylinder.  Angus watched, eyes going wide as the spell worked slow and beautiful. (Taako hardly ever transmuted slowly, it took more focus and energy, it was more of a gradual progression as opposed to a simple work through. But he knew Angus loved watching the magic work.) The silver pen popped up in his palm, the wizard spinning it around his fingers he occasionally did with knives.

 “Howsa ‘bout that boychik?” Taako winked, tilting his head so the braid swung from his shoulder. “And Taako should be able to find some paper,” he set the pen down, reaching over with his non-dominant hand to shuffle around and grab the papers Noelle had placed on a clipboard on the bottom of the bed. “Here! Let’s just not tell Noelle that we’re gonna draw all over her sciencey papers n shit.”

Angus blinked and tapped Taako’s hand twice.

  


After some situating so Taako could read as Angus wrote, they got back to the point.

 _Hello, sir!_ Angus’ handwriting was the same fancy cursive, just a little slower than usual. He couldn’t look down at the paper but he did his best.

Taako smiled in the way he promised himself he would never let Angus see. “How are you doing?”

 _Not the best, sir. Tired._  

“If you ever want me to leave just give ol’ Taako the word.”

Angus tapped the paper twice instead of writing.

“Allergic to penicillin it seems?”

 Two taps and a weak shrug. Taako nodded, his knowledge of the arcane arts heavily limiting what exactly he knew about the more scientific spectrum, aside from elements and equations it was all fantasy greek to him. “Yowzers.” Taako mumbled.

“Glad to see you’re awake. Got everyone worried for real now.” Taako kept his voice quiet, hand reaching up to knit into Angus’ unwashed hair.

_I’m dreadfully sorry for all this._

“It’s not your fault Ango. Don’t you think for one second that any of this is your fault.”

_It is_ _my_ _allergy sir._

“Yeah and I’m allergic to peanut butter. Doesn’t matter.” Taako sat half on and half off the bed, heel occasionally clicking on the floor. After a few seconds of silence from the both of them Taako blinked, rubbing his arms through his long shirt. “Damn little dude it’s cold as hell. Where’d Lucy put-” Standing up Taako shuffled around the room, withdrawing the knit blanket from its folded position on another bed.

He laid it over Angus’ lower body, tucking it under his legs and as far up his sides he could (without reaching the machinery and risking anything). “Can’t have you turning into a freeze pop. Want me to get you anything?”

One tap. His eyes were closed and Angus’ monitors were the only noise in the room.

 “I’ll let you rest.” Taako folded his arms and started walking out when the pen tapped against the metal of a hand IV. It was a single _clink_.

  


Taako blinked, frozen in place. There was no following tap.

 _No._ Angus said. _You’re not leaving me._

“Can’t get enough of me, huh kemosabe? Taako’s just t-... too good for you to pass up on…” His voice broke as he talked, shoulders shaking. All the emotions he had been bottling up next to his training exhaustion where finally hitting him, seeing Angus awake had eased so much his body could finally relax enough to set its emotional side on fire.

Two metal clinks.

A hand found his face, pressing hard on his eyes as the tears started spilling over and down his cheeks. Taako returned to the foot of the bed, sitting and rubbing his free hand over Angus’ shin as he cried.

“Fuck you kid.” Taako hiccuped in that traditional Taako way, “Scared the shit outta me.”

He heard scribbling, like Angus writing a response but the elf just sat, trying to regulate his breathing. Things were quiet. 

When Taako could breathe normally he wiped his face, vowing to never wear this eyeliner again- _dear god it ran like a motherfucker-_  he adjusted his hair before standing up. Angus had fallen asleep, thank Istus, and his heartbeat monitor was rhythmic.

Taako moved to take the pen and paper to return them as a small drawing caught his attention. It was Angus, Taako could tell from the some big circle glasses and curly mop of hair, and… him. It was Taako, pointy hat, braid, large curved nose and all. They were standing next to each other with messy stars scrawled around them. There were more drawings, simple and messy but full of personality. The two of them high-fiving with mage hands, one of Magnus (who Angus had given comically large shoulders and sideburns) carrying him, one of what he could guess was Carey (a pointy faced person with small horns and her sleeveless sweatshirt) and him looking up from the quad and stargazing. 

Taako didn’t care if this chart was important to Noelle, it was his now and he pulled it from the board to slide it into his pocket. Angus needed rest and know he knew what he could do to kill time.

 

* * *

When Angus awoke he wasn’t even sure when he had fallen asleep. His whole body hurt, but it was more of a numb hurt than the active pain that plagued him prior. He blinked, and tried to close his mouth to no avail.

“Are you awake now?” The Director spoke, making Angus’ heartbeat spike. “Now stay calm, it’s been about three days. You’ll probably need to rest more.” She adjusted her seat so Angus could glance over and see her, buzzed silver hair and dark skin a reassurance as she smiled. 

The tube was still in his mouth and he was confused until the Director slid a fountain pen into his hand and notepad under his hand.

“Taako said you could write instead. Is that alright?”

Two taps.

“Thank you. How are you feeling?”

_Better ma’am. How is the base doing?_

“Everyone is doing just fine, worried but we’re surviving. The reclaimers have managed to get out of a fair bit of their training but I’ve allowed it for now.”

_You’re not sending them out soon are you?_

“No, not to worry. We’re not exactly sure when the next relic will assert its presence.” She moved the bulwark staff in her hands just slightly, feeling the texturing of the white oak. “I… wished to talk with you about your family. Would that be alright?”

One tap. Then eventually another.

“You were extremely keen to come join the bureau Angus, I should have noticed before but I didn’t want to question you. Do you have family back in Faerün?”

The room was silent, machines whirring and beeping filling the space.

  _My family is on the moonbase Madame Director._

“Angus,”

_I don’t know where my biological parents are ma’am, they’ve left on so many trips without saying goodbye I haven’t seen them in years. Letters were all I had left and the nanny’s were none too plussed with my work or me correcting them. My parents_

 His hand slowed, Angus closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

_care more about their status than me._

The room was quiet again.

_My grandfather loved me, but he had terrible memory. He would forget who I was. I worked with the police to find a place where I was needed. That place is here now, with Mister Taako, and Magnus, Miss Carey and Noelle, you._

The boys eyes began to water. His shoulders shook and the machinery surrounding him beeped and buzzed louder.

 _Please ma’am, I need to be here. I need to help, I have to be useful to someone._  

“Angus McDonald, you are the world’s best detective, and now the moon’s. You are a blessing and a gift. We are lucky to have you.” She spoke, leaning the staff against the wall, moving the chair closer to the bed. “We need you. You are absolutely brilliant, and strong and so young but that doesn’t make you naïve, you are uplifting and make so many people’s lives better. Mine included.”

Angus shook his head, eyes scrunched shut and the movement starting some more beeping.

“Yes, Angus, I promise. And I would never lie to you, you can see right through me just like anyone else. We all love you so much.” Lucretia took the pen from his hand moving away the pages full of writing, holding the boy’s hand in both of hers.

“If you were gonna make ‘im cry you coulda told me Director.” Noelle entered silently, teal core flashing just faintly as she did. “He should be good enough to breathe on his own now, we can pop it out and let the boy have a nice real cry.” Her automated voice was quiet, as she pretended not to hear the strangled hiccups and cries muffled by Angus’ machinery.

“Just one little shot for now honey, then you’re gonna sleep some more.”

A small pinch as per usual, and Angus could feel his heart slow back down and tears settle. The Director still held his hand and the blanket still on his lower half kept him anchored. He felt warm. He felt safe. And for the first real time in a long time, Angus felt loved.

 

* * *

The Director was still holding his hand when he woke up, and his other was being held by Magnus. The two adults were talking about something quietly, Angus doing his best to listen in without tipping them off.

Magnus’ speech stopped after a few seconds before he smiled, clapping Angus’ hand between his own and giving one of his usual gruff laughs. “G’mornin’ little buddy! Glad you’re up.”

He could barely see the Director’s confusion as he opened his eyes, coughing a few times as the two sat him up on the bed. His throat was dry, and somehow too large and just too empty despite finally being released from his machinery. Magnus rubbed his back and Lucretia left to gather some water.

“Not too stealthy when you’re still wired up.” Magnus spoke, returning to his seat once the fit ceased. He kicked a leg up and over the arm of his too small chair, idly gnawing on the chipped nail polish on his thumb as Lucretia returned. The glass was lukewarm in his shaky hands as Angus took it with a nod of thanks. It was quenching, going down his sore throat like food to a beggar, gone in a matter of seconds.

“Good enough to talk?” Magnus asked, knitting his fingers together and swinging his legs back down. He was anxious, Angus noted dully. He was nervous about something, or trying to distract himself.

Opening his mouth, Angus took a deep breath. “Hello sir and ma’am!” He smiled, head lolling just a little too far to the side to be normal.

“There’s our Angus!” Magnus cheered, swinging his arm. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m… Well I hurt a fair bit but I do believe I’m faring much better.” Angus spoke a little slowly, rubbing his eyes. When he looked up his glasses- new wire and all- were in the Director’s hand, outstretched to him. He took them with a sheepish grin, sliding them on and finally being able to recognize the finer details of the room and his visitors.

“Thank you.”

Lucretia nodded in return, adjusting a pile of papers on her lap Angus only now noticed.

“What are those?”

“Oh, just some papers I had Magnus deliver to me. I have much work to do in regards to running the Bureau. Speaking of which, my visit slot is burned.” She smiled one final time at Angus, patting his hand and standing. “I’m very glad you’re recovering. And that you like the quilt.”

“Thank you for visiting ma’am!”

“Not a problem at all. Don’t let Magnus wear you out now.” She tucked the papers firm against her chest and the staff clinked against the tile floor as she left, door opening and closing.

 

Magnus watched the Director leave, turning back to Angus and pressing his elbows the bed, leaning on his hands. 

“What seems to be the matter sir?”

“Nothing Ango, don’t worry about it. Lucretia told me some stuff about…”

_No, please not-_

“Y’know, your parents.” Magnus chose each word he spoke carefully, “And I wanted to be here when you woke up.”

“I’d rather not talk about it sir.” Angus pulled his legs up, after a fair bit of work and swimming vision the boy sat hugging his knees.

“No, I really think we should. I know it won’t be easy and all but… I think it’d be good for you. I could- I could get Taako or somebody else if you’d want though.”

Angus just breathed for a while, arm with the IVs settled limply over the blanket. Magnus was soft and strong, he was a warrior with good strong hands and a big heart. He wanted to help.

 

“Will it really?” Angus looked over, eyes big and shoulders hunched. He didn’t want to, not at all. Then he’d be a useless kid, he’d be weak and really have no reason to hold his own like the adults on the base. They never cried and complained about their pasts. Magnus’ voice cut off his thoughts.

 

“Nothing is more important than being honest with yourself. You need to welcome your emotions and face then head on, locking them away can only hurt you and the people that love you. Like, sometimes it hurts, and it hurts real bad, but just having someone to listen to you yell and scream, or babble and cheer, it makes you stronger. Because you learn that you don’t always have to be alone. That there are people who matter to you, and you matter to them.” Magnus’ face went that visible kind of soft as he traced a few scars on his fingertips, eventually resulting to spinning the simple gold band on his left ring finger.

 “I… I wish I hated them.” Angus spoke after a few seconds of silence. “I wish I felt anything powerful about them. That I hated them with passion… But I don’t. I can’t recount their voices, I remember their pictures from business conferences and exotic vacation postcards, but,” He shook his head and closed his eyes.

“It’s just, shame. I’m not good enough, if I was good enough, they would love me. If I did enough with the police or the Bureau maybe they would come back, or maybe they would tell me they loved me. Maybe they would notice when I didn’t eat for days because I was lost in books, or out late nights with the militia, or when I didn’t come home.” His voice was shaking now, hand digging hard into the quilt. “I don’t feel anything about them, I don’t know them. They don’t know me.”

Magnus was listening.

“I miss them, but I don’t. I miss what I know parents should be. I miss feeling loved, but until I came here, I didn’t know what it felt like. How can you miss something you had never experienced until you got it? What kind of ungrateful act is that?” Angus laughed hollowly, tears dripping hot and heavy from behind his glasses. “I had everything, I should be grateful. But-”

“The only thing you should feel is how you feel right now. Because you’ve been betrayed by your own blood, and that’s not fair.”

Angus opened his eyes, breath catching wrong for a second.

“Angus, you deserve love. You deserve to feel important and safe, because you are a living being, and everyone needs to. You are not being a bother or selfish by being human. You’re a kid for gods sake, you’re supposed to need affection and attention.” Magnus moved up to seat himself on the bed, hands pushing down Angus’ knees and holding his shoulders gently. “Listen to me Angus, you are important. You matter. I love you and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you like this again, you hear me? I’ll tease you and pick you up and play keepaway sometimes but Angus you are worth every single second I spend with you. You’re so bright kid, you’re sixty times as smart as old Magnus here.”

When Angus opened his eyes, Magnus was crying too. 

“And when you say something so wrong with so much conviction, it cuts deep.”

Magnus moved up on the bed, Angus starting to lose himself to sobs and tears. He shakily removed the glasses and pulled the boy over, gently pressing Angus’ face to his shirt and letting the boy cling. He cried. Angus cried hard and loud.

 “You are worth so much more than you think Angus. You matter, you are important. You don’t need them. You went out on your way and found yourself a real family.”

 Angus tried to argue, monitors beeping loud and wires pulling as he tunneled against his hero's chest.

“You are. I promise you.”

Magnus’ chest was warm, his arms were big and sturdy, and they both held him as Angus wept.

 

* * *

Surprisingly, the room was empty when Angus awoke next, although he still wasn’t exactly sure what time it was. Time had become much looser a concept to him lately. He sat up slowly, going to idly itch near his IV to discover it had been removed, a small dog printed band aid in its spot. His wrist’s was printed with flowers, and the hand place had a purple bandage printed with stars and sparkles.

He moved slowly, pulling back the blanket and sliding his legs off the side of the bed. He had lost a lot of weight, he noticed, rubbing his arms and taking the quilt over his shoulders. The monitors on his chest and wrist were gone and skin scrubbed. His shorts remained unchanged, a clean (and very large) shirt he had been changed into had a familiar text on it, making him smile. It was Magnus’, it said ‘The only dogs allowed on the moon are these puppies’ in large text, something he had bought at the Fantasy costco one day when Angus followed them to shop after a mission.

 He rubbed his eyes, putting on his glasses and taking himself to shaky feet. He needed some real food for once, and the monitors were gone so he didn’t know how to contact Noelle.

Before he even took a few steps the door raised open, Carey running through and gasping in delight.

“Ango McDango!” She cheered, running over and hefting the detective up by the waist. He squealed, holding onto her head scales.

“Miss Carey!” He said, smiling but still feeling the wind rush from him.

“About damn time I got to see my favorite boy!” She held him tight, burying her snout in the boys stomach. “How are you doing? You slept through all my visit slots! And what did I tell you about that miss stuff?”

“I’m frankly starving, Carey.” Angus rested his cheek on her forehead, arms slinging around her. “Still a bit woozy.”

“Magnus got to carry you once, now it’s my turn.” She spoke, adjusting Angus in her arms just slightly and sighing. “I’m so glad you’re doing better man.” She flicked her tongue out in the way that always made Angus laugh and patted his side.

“Food?”

 “Food.” Angus wrapped his legs around Carey’s middle, the dragonborn taking her boy and walking out of the medbay. They trundled down the grey hallways, out into the quad and stopping just briefly to look at the constellations visible in the sky.

“There’s that one again.” Carey spoke, pointing with her free hand. “The three that make the belt and then the body,” She traced an imaginary line and Angus nodded. 

“Orion.”

“Oh yeah, Onion.”

“Carey!" 

“C’mon big man let’s get you some breakfast food.” She snickered good naturedly at Angus’ chastising her.

“The cafeteria breakfasts are never good though.” Angus kept himself slouched on his friend, relaxed as she pulled the door open and entered the mess hall.

“Oh, this isn’t any normal breakfast.” She chuckled, Angus turning over his shoulder to look. Indeed, it wasn’t the normal processed food or underpaid unhappy chefs. Taako was standing behind the divider, sauteeing something with one hand, flipping an omelette with another. Loud music was playing from the speaker system, and Taako was shaking his hips, bouncing between tasting pans and adjusting heats as he seemed to swish through the entire kitchen. His hair was up in a tight bun (small for how much hair he had) and extravagant clothes cut down to his simplest and plainest.

 

“Hey Taako!” Carey yelled, walking in further. Taako’s head shot up, grin splitting across his face just long enough for Angus to notice before it changed to a pleased smirk. 

“About damn time!” He yelled over the music, quickly stepping over to turn it down a few notches.

“I know, right?” Carey said, smiling as Angus tried to wriggle free from her grasp. She set the boy down on an unused counter space, Angus adjusting his shirt. He looked up at Taako as the wizard rounded the corner to the eating side, stepping in front of him and popping his hands on is hips.

“Hungry?”

“Starved.” Angus replied, smiling up at his mentor and hero.

Taako smiled softly, in the way that crinkled his eyes just right and he quickly stepped in to threw his arms around the boy detective. They held each other for a few moments, Taako pressing a hand to the back of Angus’ head.

“I’m so glad you’re alright Agnes.” He murmured, eventually releasing from the hug.

“Woah, Taako displaying real normal emotions?” Carey teased, wandering back and popping a seat on the cafeteria table nearby.

“Emotions? In _this_ Taako? As if.” Taako moved to whip his braid over his shoulder, only to find it not there. Angus and Carey both dissolved into giggles, Taako crossing his arms. “Fine, then no food.”

“Excuse me, I was promised food? Ain’t no goin’ back on that.” A new voice entered the conversation, Avi entering a few seconds prior and holding the front door open. 

“Well, if it isn’t the moon’s best detective.” Johann spoke, smiling and slowly raising a hand to wave. “Nice to see you up Angus.”

“Nice to be up!” Angus replied, quickly learning yelling was not a good idea as the coughing fits returned. Just as quickly however there were two hands rubbing his back and two friends on either of his sides.

“Take it easy Angus.” Avi yelled, sticking his head out of the open door. “Hey come on! Angus is back!”

Johann entered, somehow a still mellow air around him but a caring smile on his face. Eventually the members Avi must have been yelling at made their way into the cafeteria; Killian, the other two reclaimers, the Director, a few faces he recognized from late night walks, a few from work together, soon a fair bit of the Bureau was all in the cafeteria. They all smiled and meandered over to him, some with presents, others with cards.

Angus was almost surrounded by gifts, kind words and friends. 

“Glad you’re on the road to recovery Angus!”

“Happy to see you again!”

“I never really thanked you for our last mission, I wanted to now.”

 

Angus sat, tiny legs swinging from the countertop and tears threatening to bubble up from his eyes. There was so much kindness, it was suffocating. People were talking and laughing and a few were swaying to the music (Carey and Killian were dancing rather stupidly, Carey flashing Angus a peace sign which the boy returned). It felt right.

The room was warm from the bodies and the food, which Taako enlisted his fellow reclaimers to help plate. Angus of course got the first plate, and only after a few minutes did Taako find himself happy to serve anyone else. Angus’ only gripe was there was a bit too much salt, but the wizard was sure to test every ingredient and dish (Although he never used magic).

 The food was amazing, his friends made him laugh and everyone had fun, and Angus felt the love of a family deep in his heart.

 

“When you’re ready to rest just let ol’ Taako know, we can have story time in the medbay again. It’s been a while.” Taako had said, Angus nodding as Taako disappeared back into talking with some of the others, Avi and Johann keeping the boy company. When the warm and good food settled nicely in his stomach Angus tried to keep himself away, he really did. But every time Avi made him laugh and every time Johann struggled with a word only for Carey to somehow magically lean into the conversation and give it to him (and make everyone giggle) it wasn’t long before Angus was falling asleep and slumping on the counter.

Taako was the first one to notice of course, walking over and clapping his hands together, summoning Magnus.

“Bed time for our favorite seeker.” Taako spoke, Magnus walking over with a smile and lifting Angus into his arms. His sideburns tickled as he rubbed cheeks against Angus’.

“Hey man, nice shirt by the way.” He spoke, letting Taako climb onto a table and inform the whole party that Angus was going to get rest.

“Thanks.” Angus replied sleepily, resting his head on Magnus’ chest. “Got it from my uncle. Or dad. Not sure yet.” He laughed as Magnus’ eyes widened, a grin spreading across the fighter’s face.

 “C’mon idiots, Taako time.” Taako spoke, leading the two humans out of the cafeteria.  


Angus was asleep, leaned entirely on Taako before the elf could even get through the next chapter of the Caleb Cleveland novel. He kept reading until it finished though, kissing Angus’ head and smiling softly.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> #LoveAngoMcDango2k17
> 
> I'm tgapa on tumblr so if you wanna scream about Angus hit me up


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